


tacenda

by kaitycole



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26984164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitycole/pseuds/kaitycole
Summary: Tacenda: [noun] things better left unsaidThe Aoba Joshai boys head to their old manager’s wedding, only concern is that she’s also the ex-girlfriend of former setter, Oikawa Tooru.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Kudos: 26





	tacenda

**Author's Note:**

> Song Choice: Molly by Lil Dicky

“I just can’t believe you’re actually going.” Matsukawa says, shifting slightly in his seat.

“I was invited.” Oikawa lifts up his collar and drapes his tie around his neck.

“Yeah, but she probably didn’t expect you to show.” Hanamaki shrugs, “I mean it would’ve been pretty awkward for all of us to get one and you not too.”

Oikawa doesn’t reply, he stares at himself in the mirror for a while trying to steady his hands. Or maybe it was his heart he wanted to calm, it was almost beating out of his chest.

“Have you seen her today?” Matsukawa asks, prompting a scold from Iwaizumi who hadn’t spoken the whole time.

“You cool? You good?” Hanamaki seeing Oikawa’s hands shake from a small distance away.

“It’s gonna be a pretty intense moment; her walking down the aisle.” Iwaizumi finally speaks, making eye contact with his friend’s reflection.

“You see, he’s already fumbling with his tie!” Hanamaki jokes, causing a small smirk from Matsukawa.

Oikawa sighs, it was his fourth attempt to tie the damned thing and he was contemplating just not wearing one. “I think I’m executing it just fine, thank you,” he finally pulls the wide end of the tie to tighten it before flipping down his collar.

“He’s in his head.” Matsukawa says as Hanamaki’s words overlap them, “Are you gonna vomit?”

Oikawa rolls his eyes, “I’m so happy to have such a supportive group of friends.”

“You good though? You’re not gonna cry?” Iwaizumi looks at his friend again, making direct eye contact this time as he turns around to face the group.

“You’re an insufferable group of people.”

“Seriously though, we can leave anytime.” Matsukawa says.

“Can you just tie your ties and act like adults so we can get there on time?” The smile on his face doesn’t reach his eyes, Iwaizumi knowing he wasn’t as okay as he tried to appear.

“Alright, you heard him. Five minutes and I’m leaving.” Iwaizumi says, leaving the room to get the car ready.

* *  
Hanamaki and Matsukawa are arguing over the radio as Iwaizumi threatens to pull over and make them walk the rest of the way to the church. But Oikawa doesn’t hear anything, he’s been absentmindedly scrolling through old pictures of the two of you. It’s been five years since you all graduated from Aoba Joshai and three since your break-up, but he just couldn’t delete your pictures.

Maybe it’s because a piece of him thought that you’d be back together by now; starting the clock back to where you left off before he had left for Argentina. Over the last few months, he found himself looking at the photos more often than he had in the last few years. Tears prick the bottom of his eyes before he blinks them away.

Matsukawa glances over, a straight lipped smile on his face before looking in the rearview mirror at Iwaizumi, shaking his head. Iwaizumi matches Matsukawa’s expression, almost as if silently agreeing that neither understood why Oikawa was putting himself through this.

* *  
When they arrive, they all head into the chapel, but not before Hanamaki cracks a joke about whether or not Oikawa could actually walk into a church. They all sit together close to the front, Oikawa standing right at the edge; right where you’ll walk passed him.

Once the bridal march begins to play, everyone stands up. Hanamaki and Matsukawa glance back, but Oikawa keeps forward; waiting until you walk by to look at you. His hands are still shaking, his palms feel clammy as he can almost imagine your footsteps getting closer.

He’s instantly hit with the familiar scent of your perfume; a mix of peony and vanilla. Closing his eyes, he relives the first time he ever met you.

Oikawa hadn’t noticed you sitting on the bleachers until the coach ended practice ten minutes early, motioning for you to join the team. He couldn’t place you at all, looking at Iwaizumi who just shrugged.

“This is the new club manager. I expect everyone to welcome her.”

You smiled, “Hi, I’m Y/N, I’m a second year and just transferred here. I look forward to working with everyone.”

One by one, the team introduced themselves to you before heading off to the locker room to change and leave. Oikawa was the last one.

“I’m Oik—” He started but you interrupted him.

“Oikawa Tooru, the one with the fan club, right?”

He turned about ten shades of red, trying to find the words. “Uh, well, uhm…”

You laughed, “I ran into them outside. They seem lovely.”

He stared at you, it was as if all the words he’d ever learned had disappeared.

“I should get going. See ya tomorrow.” You turned with a wave, leaving Oikawa speechless as you exited the gym.

“…let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

Oikawa is brought out of his memories; his three friends holding their breaths as they look at him. Hanamaki and Matsukawa had secretly placed bets on whether or not Oikawa would speak up. His shoulders drop as he lets out a sigh, seeing the look on your face as you look at your future husband. Matsukawa won the bet.

He didn’t make it a point to remember his name, all he really knew was that you had met him on your way home. You had both walked into a store you had never been in before to grab something random, neither of you could remember what it was now and the rest was history.

It wasn’t until about a year or so ago that while out with Matsukawa, Hanamaki and Iwaizumi that it was brought to Oikawa’s attention you were engaged. That’s when Matsukawa mentioned his job along with other things; he and Hanamaki were still in regular contact with you.

Oikawa hates to admit it, but you look incredibly happy and relaxed with your fiancé. You had a similar look when you and him had gotten together, but it wasn’t to that caliber. Maybe one day Oikawa would say that was the first time he realized soulmates were a thing, that someone can be happy with you but truly happy with someone else, but that day wasn’t going to be today.

He looks down when you are told to kiss your new husband and hand-in-hand walk down the aisle, leaving the sanctuary. Iwaizumi nudges Oikawa, who shakes his head before following the crowd to the reception area.

“We don’t have to stay, ya know?” Matsukawa says.

“I’m fine, Mattsun.” Oikawa smirks.

“Seriously though, she won’t even notice. Everyone’s gonna be trying to talk to her anyways.” Hanamaki shrugs.

“Makki, we are staying.” He pushes Iwaizumi who is in front of him, “Let’s find our seats.”

* *  
Luckily the four of them are at the same table, along with a few other people they don’t know. After exchanges names and pleasantries, Oikawa makes a beeline to the bar; a double scotch. Before he can pick it up, Iwaizumi picks it up and takes a sip.

“Iwa-chan!”

“I don’t understand why you’re punishing yourself like this.” He takes another sip as Oikawa orders another one.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turns, leaning his back against the bar; facing the dance floor.

Iwaizumi just shakes his head, “Dumbass.”

Oikawa doesn’t rebuttal because he knows his best friend is right. He is punishing himself, if he had been able to stop putting you second to volleyball, maybe it’d have been him up there with you. Or if he could’ve walked away from his dream, not that you would’ve let him. That’s what one of your last fights was about; he told you that since you wouldn’t move to Argentina then he’d just come back to you.

But you couldn’t let him do that, you couldn’t let him give up something that was a bigger part of him than you were. So, you were selfish, you said things that cut deep in that fight, but you didn’t break up for another few months after that. Oikawa selflessly saying that he understood where you were coming from and that he wanted you to be happy, even if that meant without him.

Though standing there now, seeing you and your new husband laughing as your meal was served, makes his stomach twist.

* *  
Oikawa glances around the dance floor currently filled with people trying to dance. His eyes stop when he sees Hanamaki and Matsukawa talking to you. The three of you looking just like you had back in high school. Your face lit up, jumping up excitedly a little when Mattsun told you something; you start eagerly looking around until your eyes meet his. You quickly wave him over to you, the two Seijoh alumni wave goodbye at you as Oikawa walks over.

“You made it!” You beam your bright smile at him.

He feels his chest tighten. Being this close to you made him realize just how stupid it was for him to come. You look breathtaking as you always did, but right now you almost glow. Your dress compliments you, hugging you in just the right places. He felt guilty thinking of how beautiful you look while you wore a wedding dress.

“I wouldn’t miss it.” He smiles back, but it was one that Iwaizumi would immediately know isn’t sincere. The type of smile one uses to mask the pain they really feel.

You reach up, grabbing his hands but stop before you can say anything.

“Sweetie, your great aunt would like to see you before she leaves.”

“Of course,” you smile up at him, “Oh, this is Oikawa Tooru. He’s the setter for Club Atlético San Juan.”

“Nice to meet you.” He turns back to you, “We really should go, honey.”

“Uhm, well, okay. Don’t leave before we talk more, Tooru.” You smile as you walk away, your hand effortlessly slipping into your husband hand as you pass through the surrounding guests.

If he was a balloon he would’ve deflated because the way your eyes lit up when you saw him knocked the air right out of his lungs. It hurts, no hurt isn’t heavy enough to express the pain in his chest. The way breathing stings as though he’s breathing in icy air or how his mouth feels as dry as cotton.

Then it dawns on him that he has no reason why he’s actually here. He tried to convince himself that it would rude not to show up since you took the time to send him an invitation, but that isn’t true. Tried to say that you being happy, even without him would be enough for him, but it wasn’t because he still loves you.

What was that worth? In reality no one stopped a wedding to declare their love for the bride or groom. He wasn’t any different because the look on your face as you looked at the man in front of you, told him that he couldn’t mess that up. He couldn’t tell you that he wants you back or that he still thinks about you. Because if he had to choose which of you got to be happy, he’d pick you every time.

* *  
Iwaizumi is out getting the car while Matsukawa attempts to hold a drunken Hanamaki up as he talks him to the car. The reception is winding down so Oikawa scans one last time, hoping to get one final look at you. Call it closure. He doesn’t see you so he just turns to leave, hoping to leave whatever feelings he had for you at the chapel door.

“Oikawa!”

He doesn’t turn around, continuing his trip to Iwaizumi’s car.

“Tooru!”

His eyes squeeze shut, he knows exactly who it is before he sees you. As much as it hurt, he couldn’t just ignore you, after all the bride always gets what she wants on her wedding day.

“Y/N.” He smiles softly.

“You weren’t just gonna leave without saying goodbye, were you?”

He rubs the back of his neck, nervously. “I looked but couldn’t find you.”

“Oh.” You push your hands down your stomach, straightening out the imaginary wrinkles, “I’m really glad you got to come.”

“Yeah. Me too. You look gorgeous.”

You look away, slightly embarrassed at his worlds. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

He looks at the ground, the easy banter between you was harder to maintain when all he wants is to beg for you to come back. “I should get going. Makki drank enough for the lot of us.”

“Oh, of course.” You smile, “See ya around.”

“Yeah. See ya around.” He turns walking off, throwing back a final glance as you head back inside.

‘Cause even when I can’t say “Love you”

I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: kaitycole


End file.
